Comprehensive Guide to Same- Sex Wedding Showers

by Maki Sharda

As a best man or maid of honor, it is innate to want to do something special for your queer friends who will be tying the knot soon. Holding a wedding shower is a great way to commemorate this new milestone. Planning a wedding shower is quite ambitious but very exciting.

All the close friends and family of the soon-to-be-married couple can enjoy themselves and make merry in a safe space. The best part of these same-sex wedding showers is that everyone can be themselves and have the time of their lives with no judgment.

To help you host the best gay wedding shower of all time, this article will be a useful guide for planning a great wedding shower to remember.

Ensure the Couple Wants the Wedding Shower


Planning a wedding shower or party can be a bit tricky when you want it to be special and unique. Be it planning a shower or something low profile or anything regarding queer wedding, it is best to do your research online and get some inspiration from niche insightful sites like

Before planning the event, it is vital to make sure that the couple gave you the green signal to host a shower for them. It does not make sense to throw a party if the couple is not interested or simply does not want a wedding shower. If the queer duo directly said no or disagreed with the idea of having a wedding shower, you need to respect their wishes and not host an extravagant jamboree.

Avoid hosting a celebratory wedding shower behind your friends’ backs. You need them on board with the wedding shower, so you can try to convince them and get them to agree. If only one of the pairs agrees, hold a shower just for them. Wedding showers do not necessarily have to be for both parties; there is no such obligatory rule.

Consult With the Pair

Since the party is for the soon-to-be spouses, it is best to discuss their likes and dislikes. As a close friend, you are already quite familiar with their taste. However, it is better to be safe. Ask them what they want and do not want in their party.

For instance, they might not want any country songs to be played except for Dolly Parton and Taylor Swift. Or maybe they do not want a flashy party but would simply love a low-key brunch with their closest friends.

Especially in LGBTQ parties, communication with the couple is key to a successful party; after all, the event is being planned for them. They will likely want to avoid some traditional elements. Since marriage equality is still new and has only been legal for a few years, queer couples are still figuring out to find what works for them.

You do not necessarily have to run everything by them since they already have a lot on their plate. Just aim for their likes and ensure they can relax and enjoy themselves in your soirée.

Gender Inclusive Guest List


The best part of queer weddings is that there are no gender stereotypes or any form of prejudice. Invite everyone close to the soon-to-be-married pair regardless of their gender. It is essential to keep account of the festivities involved in the party.

They need to be thoughtful and the guests should be comfortable with the fun games.

Aim for an open space where the newlywed couple can share the day and have fun with all the people they adore. You can include fun gender-neutral games like an amusing drinking game or “match the movie quote.”

Choosing The Venue

The venue can be anywhere. It can be in the backyard of your house or on the patio of the couple’s house. It can also be their favorite restaurant or a charming spot in the park. If you are planning to hold an event in a public space like a public park, you will need to get a permit from your local council.

Alternatively, you can also rent an open space in the nearest plaza or hotel. To make it more memorable and unique, rent the entire space of the local ice rink. Simply opt for a convenient location where you can pull off a remarkable event.

Planning the Menu


Food is important at any social gathering. If you are having a shower at a house, you can hire a caterer to make delectable food and snacks for the wedding shower. Discuss with the caterer and ask for recommendations. It is best to avoid cheap catering services; chances are they will mess up the order or serve disgusting food. Look at the reviews and rapport of the catering service you are considering hiring.

It is also wise to ask for the diet restrictions of the couple, especially the foods they are severely allergic to. For instance, avoid including any dishes including peanuts if one member of the couple is allergic to them. You also need to consider their lifestyle choices; for example, the entire menu should be plant-based and contain no animal products if the couple is vegan.

You can also include gluten-free and sugar-free options for the guests. Some of the attendees might be health-conscious and would appreciate your effort in keeping all options open. If you are holding the party at a restaurant, take a look at their menu according to the preferences of the soon-to-be spouses.

The event can be a brunch or lunch shindig. It can also be a cocktail party. Make sure that the food complies with the theme of the party. For instance, it would not make sense to have messy burgers and other junk food at an elegant luncheon. Or if it is a cocktail party, sliders and various finger foods like pigs in a blanket would be great.

Entertainment for the Event

When hosting a party, you want all of the guests to enjoy it. Besides the drinks, music, and socializing, include fun games. The games can be simple yet interactive. Moreover, they are great icebreakers.

Also, you should run the games you are planning by the couple. Some might not want games at all as they can be quite gender-stereotypical like toilet paper dressmaking. You need to be respectful of the couple’s wishes.

Fortunately, there are many fun games and entertainment options that do not cater to the gender stereotype at all. If it is at home, you can set up a karaoke machine where everyone can sing their favorite songs. Arranging the “Who Said It?” the game is also a commendable choice, and everyone will have a good laugh and get to know the couple more. You can also include fun trivia games that can be a fandom theme like the Potterhead Quiz. It can also be a fun interactive game like “Find the Guest.”

Capturing the Special Moments


Great memories and amazing moments are created on such special occasions as wedding showers. You can create a hashtag on Instagram and other social media where the guests can share their photos and preserve their memories. Make sure the hashtag is simple and witty. It should also be the same hashtag on all social platforms.

You can also hire a professional photographer to capture profound special moments. It can be the wedding photographer the couple already hired or it can be a different person.

Date of the Wedding Shower

The date of the wedding shower should be at least three weeks before the wedding date. Both the time and date should be convenient for everyone, especially the couple that will get married.

The day of the wedding shower should not clash with any other commitments of the duo in love, like family outings or dinner. Make sure your schedule and the couple’s schedule are clear for the wedding shower that day.

Send the Invites Way Ahead of the Date


After deciding the venue, time, and date of the special event, send the invitations as soon as possible, at least two weeks before the shower. It is best to send the invites online as it is easily accessible and super convenient.

Avoid Overthinking

You are planning a party for two people you adore. Simply go with your instincts and don’t fret much about the dos and don’ts you find on Pinterest. If the couple is on board with you throwing a party, it means they trust you in pulling off a great wedding shower.

Simply stick to the spirit of the couple and enjoy yourself in arranging the most fun party. People only need good company and food to enjoy.

Final Words

It is a great initiative to throw a wedding shower for your queer friends who will get married soon. The planning and all the festivities are quite enthralling. You just need clear communication with the couple and keep in touch with your instincts to host the most amazing shower.

You may also like

Leave a Comment